Sawdust
1988

Virginia's 1988 do-nothing legislature declared the Urbanna Oyster Festival to be the official Oyster Festival of the State of Virginia. The measure to declare the Chesapeake Deadrise the state boat failed. No mention has been made of the Great Oyster Fly-In -- we're offended.

 Buzz Glade, who is now flying with a 160 hp engine and constant speed propeller, says "You should tell everyone to forget about using a fixed-pitch propeller on the Falco. It's a whole new airplane with the constant speed prop."

Watch the July issue of Town and Country for the latest in children's fashions modeled by Sara Scott, Katherine Scott and friends.

Look for Irek Mikolajczyk to fly Pawel Kwiecinski's Falco in the airshow circuit starting in July. By mistake, Irek recently pulled +7.5 and ­4 Gs -- easy boys, the Falco can be broken. Pawel is thinking of having a second Falco built in Poland by Adam Slodowy and then flying the plane across the Atlantic. Flap seals and hinge fairings are now installed and increased the top speed by 5 knots indicated. Full throttle gets 170 knots indicated, but wheel well doors and nose gear doors are not yet installed.

Movin' -- Now with full gear doors installed, Jim DeAngelo decided to see "what'll she do" and clocked his Falco at 190 knots indicated at 1500 feet, 29"/2600 at 2° C.

Nigel Moll reports the turboprop 320 hp SF.260TP indicates 190 knots at 94 percent power at 7,000 feet. See the April issue of Flying. The range is about two hours, thanks to the FAA's silly 61-knot stall speed limit.

Col. Fernando Tellez reports that the Chilean Air Force Falco now has 50 hours and is being flown with some frequency. The Falco was grounded for a long time with a cracked exhaust.

How 'bout those girls! Did everybody see Sara Scott, Kakee Scott and friends in the July issue of Town & Country? Aren't they something? Neat girls, huh? Yeah. Did'ya ever see anything so neat? Wow!

Anything for airplanes. Kevin Walker had already built a couple of airplanes and was starting on a Christen Eagle when his company transferred him to New Hampshire. After seeing Jim DeAngelo's Falco and thinking about New Hampshire weather, Kevin decided to build a Falco instead. He was in the process of getting married, and just to make sure there were clear skies ahead for him, he wanted to make sure his wife-to-be agreed that he could continue to fool around with airplanes. "That's fine," she said, "but I have a condition, too -- it's about this male chauvinistic name business." Please welcome our latest Falco builder, Kevin Baranski-Walker.

The short-coupled, pop-riveted-CAD-CAM!-Prescott Pusher has been sold to an Australian concern. The demise was blamed by a Prescott spokesman on a variety of problems, including lack of "government aid and support." Right. Nothing to do with the merits of the design.

While every homebuilder has a first-flight fantasy, almost everyone has the good sense to know better. But a Glasair builder in the San Diego area recently lived out his fanstasy-rolls, loops, the works, capped off with a 240 mph low pass, slow roll on the deck, and circle for landing. One of the local homebuilders, who had witnessed the whole thing, shook the pilot's hand, congratulated him on a successful first flight, and then decked the idiot -- who is so stupid he can't figure out why the guy hit him.

Another magazine for woodworkers, Better Homes and Gardens' Wood (Locust at 17th, Des Moines, Iowa 50336) is directed to the home woodworker. Kitchen cabinets, simple furniture, tool reviews, first-aid for dull saber-saw blades, sure-fire cure for wobbly chairs, etc. Nothing about airplanes. Yet.

Correction: Mr. Frati sends word that he misunderstood Steve Wilkinson when he said that for the $3 million that Piaggio spent on Avanti wind tunnel tests, he could pay for the entire Squalus program-development, two prototypes and all. Mr. Frati thought Steve had said $13 million. The Squalus engine alone costs $500,000, there are expensive ejection seats, and Promavia executives might read the article and wonder if they were overcharged.

"Daddy, how come they put it together with chocolate pudding?" asked Craig Bransfield's young helper, mystified by the resorcinol glue on the wing spar.

Gary Smith did not properly tend to his domestic relations when he headed out for the Great Oyster Fly-In in his truck. Sharon, left behind fuming, called Brenda Avery and said "When Gary gets there, slap him upside the face for me." Poor Gary arrived to be greeted by Brenda with "I have a message for you." Smack. "That was from Sharon!" So remember, never go the Great Oyster Thing without taking your lady, and watch out for Brenda if you do.

After much thought and study of the Falco brochures, LeRoy Moore had to see the warehouse of parts before he made the final decision. When he saw it was all for real, he decided to go ahead with the project. As he filled out the forms, Martha Moore -- his wife of 46 years-read the brochure, then suddenly looked up, pointed at the red Falco on the cover and said "What I am looking at is The Other Woman, isn't it?"

In a bizarre incident, Guido Zuccoli's Fiat G-59 and Falco kit were nearly lost at the Singapore harbor. The dockworkers had loaded almost all of the containers on Friday afternoon on a ship bound for Australia. When they returned on Monday morning, the ship had listed nearly 90 degrees to one side and was prevented from sinking by the ship's cranes, which hit the dock. The ship was loaded with containers of cyanide, which caused a bit of consternation. The container with the Fiat and Falco were next to be loaded. They rode out the weekend on level ground and are now safely in Australia.

According to Air & Space magazine, for $7.95 the UFO Abduction & Casualty Insurance Company of Altamonte Springs, Florida, will sell you a $10 million policy that provides coverage if you're taken for an otherworldly joyride. Assuming you return, your benefits include psychiatric care. Sarcasm protection is limited to immediate family members. A double-indemnity clause provides $20 million in the event: a) aliens refuse to practice safe sex, b) encounter results with offspring being referred to as 'the missing link' and c) aliens refer to abductee as a nutrional food source. The frequent flyer exclusion limits benefits to one occurrence per policyholder. The policy is the creation of Mike St. Lawrence, who reports that over 2000 clients have signed on, "mostly from California, as you might expect, but there's a monastery in Greece with full coverage." St. Lawrence's previous foray into insurance was the Future Life Insurance Company which offered a $10 million reincarnation compensation -- $20 million if you return as a lower life form.

The British CAA magazine Airway reports the following exchange on the radio at the Aberdeen Airport. Pilot: "There's a hare on the runway." Tower: "What do you expect? This is a hareport."

     

 

 

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